A Game Changer

It had only been 8 days since returning from china. Mia was doing well but was nowhere near adjusted. Brianna was utterly confused. She was excited to have another warm body around the house to entertain but couldn't understand why we were dressing them both exactly alike.

In short, our house was absolute chaos. An 11-month old. A 7-month old. Blissful chaos.

And then Elise began to feel not so well. She went to the doctor and explained her symptoms: nausea at all hours, especially in the morning, etc. The Doctor* listened intently and then promptly wrote her a prescription for drugs.

The next day, a friend, J.P., came by. He and his wife have twins - one of the few who could relate to our situation. In a private moment, he asked, "Deebs, are you guys on birth control?" I told him no, that we weren't overly concerned - given our past difficulties getting pregnant, and that we were tired of trying to control everything in our lives.

J.P. winced at my logic and said, "Yeah. My wife's afraid you'd say that. We're scared for you guys."

Our conversation got into my head a bit. So later that night I asked Elise how she was feeling. "Still kinda funny," she said.

"Any chance you're pregnant?" I asked, squeaking out the question.

"Oh no...no way," she replied.

"Do you still have a pregnancy test left?" I asked (note: we used to have the Costco-sized supply, going through nearly one test a month)

"I think we maybe have one," she said.

"Should we use it?" I asked.

"Well, let's wait a couple of days and I'm sure this cold will blow over," she said.

"Um, why don't we use it now." I said.

We first sat down for a nice meal that some friends had prepared (we were still receiving food from our church to help us through Mia's arrival). We had been looking forward to this night for a few days, referring to it affectionately as "date night"- we had a bottle of wine, we had good italian, the girls were down for the night, and I had rented a move. Woo. hoo.

Elise got up from the table and slipped into the bathroom. I could hear her unwrap the packaging. I sat in my chair and swirled my shiraz. I looked slowly around the room, taking it all in. I looked at the two high chairs, the laundry piles on the counter, and I stared into my wine glass as one would a crystal ball. I thought to myself, "This is a game changer." Everything could change in our lives and it all depended on what happened when my wife walked out of that bathroom.

I began to run scenarios in my head. "If the door opens and she swiftly walks out," I thought. "Then she's not pregnant. But, " I countered, "if the door dramatically swings open and I hear no footsteps...we're, well...we're...." I couldn't complete my thought.

The door swung open and she walked swiftly out. "Whew," I thought and began to resume my breathing. Elise came right up to me, thrust the test into my hand and blurted, "I can't bear to look." I began to object on the basis that I didn't know how to read the test. I've never known if I'm to look for a blue line, pink line, two lines, or whathaveya. Fortunately for me it just said, "Pregnant" on it.

I gave Elise a look. She said, "Daniel, don't mess with me!!!"

"I'm not messing with you, hon, you're pregnant." I said.

Elise found her way slowly back to the chair, as if she were blindfolded and was inching her way there. I don't remember what I did. We were silent for a while.

Finally, Elise spoke. "So much for date night," she said.

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*Note: this Doctor was a stand-in substitute for our normal primary physician, whom we totally dig.